Azi am fost la Piatra Neamt pentru a face niste acte. Desigur...in graba mea... m-am aventurat in cea mai nesigura metoda: am stat cu opozabilul intins si cu zambetul pe buze intr-o pozitie cat mai provocatoare. Doar sunt gagik, imi permit.
Prima masina pana la Buhusi: o Dacie Break condusa de un domn tacut, dar absolut inofensiv. Dupa intrebarile de rigoare: cati ani am?, de unde sunt?, unde invat?, cat platesc chirie?...ne-am aventurat intr-o discutie imobiliara despre cashi si cutii de chibrituri numite apartamente, preturi, terenuri. Si ca orice discutie de acest gen s-a terminat prin comparatie cu "vremurile bune" cand primeai casa moka si viata era parca mai usoara.
Am nimerit a doua masina sa ma ia pana la Savinesti (stiti voi, zona aia industriala despre care uneori se mai invata la chimie, la vreo 10 km de Piatra). Si am nimerit din lac un put: o Dacie rablagita ca abia se mai tinea cu miros pregnant de benzila imbibata cu alcool. La urma urmei nu masina era problema, ci pasagerii ei: o gasca de tarani ... si cand zic tarani ma refer la tarani... care aveau grija sa se mai si dea la mine asa din cand in cand. Fond sonor poluat de manele si discutii interminabila despre Viorica, dicoteca din Zarnesti, curvele de pe centura, cum a mers lucerna, plecarile in Italia. Am invatat si cuvinte noi:
a pali= a lovi
purisanca= fata tanara ce umbla cu barbati in varsta
gagiu pizdos = prieten cu bani si spate
a te insura cu o fata de caldarari (=caldarareasa) = a te insura cu zestre mare
a grohoti = inca nedescifrat : a te ganguri sau a rade zgomotos
Desigur, principiile si maximele celor 3 gentilomi au fost cele care m-au dat literalmente pe spate:
"Curvele este tot curve, numai ca curve proaste"
"Proasta femeia lu' Capalau. Numai cat am tinut-o oleaca de mana si i-am vorbit mai serios era sa-l si lese."
"Te legi de unul sar toti calmah pe tine." (cu referire la persoanele de etnie rroma)
"I-am zis lu aia: fa, prosta, tu ai fugit de acasa cu asta k isi bate joc de tine si nici ma-ta nu te mai primeste acuma."
etc.
Adaugati peste asa ceva un accent moldovean trivial si stropi de saliva ce ies printre buze. Mi-am facut crice cand m-am dat jos si de acolo am luat trolebusul.
Pentru necunoscatorik, am stat ca sardinele in acest mijloc de transport care se misca chiar mai greu decat tramvaiul pe strazile vechi ale Capitalei. Si dobitocul de sofer nu deschidea usa decat in fata.
La intoarcere am preferat ceva mai sigur: trenul. S-a dovedit inselator. M-am intalnit cu niste cunoscuti nu foarte cunoscuti: 2 chitaristi care faceau Conservatorul la Piatra. I-am privit uimita cum isi pileau unghiile ( de altfel mai lungi decat ale mele) de la o singura mana si am ascultat fara sa inteleg nimic din ce spuneau: flip, bemol, gama, vreo 10 trupe, Bach, master.... am tacut, am savurat si am intervenit si eu in discutia despre cum sa-ti pilesti unghia de la degetul mic.
In final, m-am intors la vesnica intrebare: " oare prostia doare?"
4 comentarii:
Din pacate nu, dar intelgenta deseori doare, ca iti permite sa vezi ce se intampla in jurul tau si sa-ti dai seama ce inseamna...
ca sa vezi soarta nedreapta: existenta ta se petrece intre marlanii cu accent moldovenesc pronuntat pe care ii detesti, si chitaristii de la Conservator pe care nu ii intelegi.
de fapt, nici pe unii, nici pe altii nu poti sa-i intelegi.
cumpara-ti un elicopter.
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